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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24997156">storm in your eyes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/stiloki/pseuds/stiloki'>stiloki</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SEVENTEEN (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, One Shot, Romance, Slice of Life</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:55:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,364</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24997156</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/stiloki/pseuds/stiloki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>If there's one thing that can describe what Jeonghan feels for months he surely lost count on- it's lost.  </p><p>Jeonghan's whole being feels lost under the waiting shed in the middle of the city, quarter an hour away from his long quiz he should take in 8 minutes. Just when he thought nothing could get worse, a familiar pair of shoes neared him, and his breath hitched upon it. Fifteen months have passed, and he still remembers what the love of his life looked before Jeonghan walked away from the forever they should've made.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>storm in your eyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Life hates me this much, eh?"</p><p>Jeonghan muttered in the air as he felt the cold breeze, stepping backwards before the drizzle wets his jacket. He chews on his lower lip, thinking of ways how to get out of the waiting shed without an umbrella. </p><p>He sat on the bench and lowered his head, contemplating how unlucky his stuation is. Despite the sound of the rain, he heard footsteps coming towards the same shed. He stayed on his position, but his gaze didn't miss the familiar pair of shoes near him. His breath hitched. </p><p>No, it can't be.</p><p>He slowly lifted his head, and upon seeing him again for the first time in fifteen months, it made him feel a lot, but the painful sting inside his chest is surely the strongest one. </p><p>He's still the same, his addiction to white shirts in which he wears almost everyday, his wavy (and very fluffy) hair, his favorite faded blue jeans, and the pair of shoes that Jeonghan gifted him. </p><p>The only thing that's different is his smile. His  eyes. All of it looks brighter now. </p><p>
  <em>He looks happier. </em>
</p><p>Upon feeling a peircing gaze, the guy turned his head towards him. And if Jeonghan thought that seeing him from a distance is painful enough, meeting his eyes feels much worse. Those orbs are taking his breath away, in the most painful way possible.</p><p>"Hannie?" The other called out, his lips immediately forming into a smile. That smile. That contagious bright and wide smile.</p><p>"Hey, what's up?" He asked and walked closer to Jeonghan, sitting beside him.</p><p><em>Are you happy? You look better. Look at you forgetting your umbrella again. Is it because I'm not there anymore to remind you before leaving our place?</em> </p><p>Our place. I left our place. </p><p>"Oh, nothing." Jeonghan forced out a chuckle, shaking his head. "I just...forgot to bring an umbrella."</p><p>"Really? That's interesting. You never forget bringing such stuff before." The guy replied, laughing afterwards.</p><p>
  <em>I never did. I wonder, maybe it's because everything got blurry and screwed up since that night. </em>
</p><p>Jeonghan only replied with a smile. </p><p>"How are you, by the way? You look thinner! Are you eating well?" The guy squeezed his arms, a worried look on his face. The sudden touch made him flinch, but he tried his best not to be too obvious. </p><p>"Yeah, of course." Jeonghan bit his lips upon spilling a big lie. Of course not, he only remembers to eat when his body feels like passing out. </p><p>God, he feels pathetic.</p><p>"What about you?" Jeonghan replied, forcing his words to be limited into that. He got tons of questions stumbling out of his lips, but he succeeded on pushing them all back, as of now. </p><p>
  <em>Were your eyes this bright months ago? Are they this lively back when you were still mine? </em>
</p><p>"I'm absolutely fine. I started going to the gym and tried eating as healthy as possible, although it's damn hard." He rolls his eyes jokingly. "I look buffer right?" The guy even flexed his arms, laughing at his own actions. </p><p>Jeonghan nodded, feeling a huge lump on his throat. When he felt like it's too much to handle, and idiotic thought came running around his head. Spilling a few of the million thoughts he's been keeping to himself all this time won't hurt, right? Just a few. Who knows if they'll meet like this again? </p><p>"But seriously," The other's voice suddenly became firm, and the smile on his lips faded. "You look pale and....just," He sighed, worry flashing through his eyes, making Jeonghan's own burn, "Jeonghan, I hope you're taking care of yourself." </p><p>Jeonghan almost chuckled upon hearing it, almost, in which he would've looked a complete asshole if he didn't stop himself, like he's already not one. </p><p>When he decided to walk out the door of their little home, in which Jeonghan will <em>only</em> ever consider as one, he knows that he broke everything right there and then. </p><p>The plans they've been making for the past years, the sacrifice it took to be with him, and the heart of the only person patient enough to understand him without words spilled. </p><p>Although it meant everything, he never looked back that time. He knows he'd come running back to his arms, apologizing for what he has done, and forgetting the raging anger laced on his father's voice he just heard through the phone. </p><p>His father found out Jeonghan's reasons for leaving their province like he has no plans of returning back, his lies consisting of university and wanting to have a new life, him trying to cover up the truth that he's holding a man between his arms every night like he's allowed to. </p><p>Of course he's allowed to, but not in their eyes. </p><p>And what hurts above all this, Choi Seungcheol never knew. Jeonghan deprived him from the truth, and forced to him that his reason for leaving is him falling out of love, and that he stopped seeing him the same way he used to.</p><p>"I'll..." He lifted his head, stretching his quivering lips into a reassuring smile. "I'll be fine." </p><p>Oh, Yoon Jeonghan. What a big fucking liar you are. </p><p>"Cheol!" </p><p>Jeonghan snapped out from his thoughts, tilted his head and saw Seungcheol look back on the owner of the voice, a girl carrying an umbrella. She has a bright smile on her face, and Jeonghan heard a relieved sigh from him. He watched his lips curl up as he walked towards her. </p><p>So the cruel pain spreading on his entire body, giving him goosebumps and the urge the cry his heart out, has more to it? He feels like a fool for having the thought. Of course, nothing would be more painful than seeing the man you thought you'd spent the rest of your life with in another's hold. </p><p>"Hannie," Seungcheol looked back with evident fondness on his eyes. "I'll have to go first, I have a class in a few minutes." He glanced at the woman beside him, and Jeonghan almost convinced himself that he saw hesistance in his eyes. "Will you wait until this stops or should I bring you an umbrella?" He asked, his arms wrapped around the female's shoulders. </p><p>
  <em>Why is staying with me not one of the choices?</em>
</p><p>He felt selfish for having the thought. Why would he stay with you through the cold when you once left him alone in the middle of it? Why would he choose to be miserable, when he has a new reason for happiness just within his arm's reach? </p><p>Jeonghan clears his throat. He tried to hide the agony eating him up alive under the small shed they're currently sharing. He shook his head. </p><p>"I'll wait." </p><p>Seungcheol wanted to protest, and Jeonghan noticed it right away yet the boy ends up nodding. "Alright, as you say. So, see you around, I guess?" </p><p>Jeonghan blinked a few more times, gulping to stop the pool of tears blurring his sight. </p><p>"See you around, Cheolie." Jeonghan replied and he swore he heard the droplets of rain pour heavier, like a sign of disagreement for what he just said.</p><p>He finally turned around, and for a few seconds, Jeonghan just stared at his back, feeling himself getting ripped into pieces with the man's every step. He turned to a small dot, until he noticed himself just staring into nothingness. </p><p>So this is how it feels seeing you walk away, huh? </p><p>"I'll wait..." He muttered, finally letting the heavy, hot set of tears he's been holding. He clutches his chest, like it would help, like it would do something, like it can ease the pain that's crushing his entire being. And as if it listens, the rain poured louder, trying to cover up the heart breaking sounds escaping from his mouth.</p><p>I'll wait, Cheolie. I'll wait till our paths cross again, may it be next month, next year, or the next decade. I don't even mind waiting until our next life. </p><p>And if I'll be allowed to have you again, I will hold you tighter. I swear I will love you better. </p><p>So I won't have to let you go.</p>
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